"Not Good Enough!" by Debbie
“Not good enough”, we all know the mantra, that feeling of unworthiness, of not measuring up, not fitting in, self-judgment, self-loathing and on and on it goes. That negative program that is deeply embedded in our psyche but where did it come from?
As we begin to “awaken” or embody more light, we have to start looking at some of the limiting beliefs we hold to transmute this not good “enoughness” into self-love and acceptance.
Society bombards us with how we should look, think and behave. Our families stick us into boxes of convention and heaven forbid we step outside of those conventions. Be a good girl or a good boy and you will be rewarded, misbehave and face the disapproving consequences.
Our primary wound is one of separation, we are born into fear, we are born separate its part of the physical experience. Separation on a physical level is unavoidable, even the simplest of creatures on this planet understands a separate self and the fight for survival. Energetically however everything is connected to everything else, energetically we are ONE! ONE SONG, ONE VERSE, UNIVERSE!
Once again then, how did this happen, this idea of not being enough?
We, as Westerners, assume that the idea of not being enough is a global concept. On comparing the Western and the Eastern mind you may discover that in fact it’s not a Universal belief.
A large percentage of Westerners have grown up with the story of “Original Sin”, of Adam and Eve who sinned and were banished from the Garden of Eden. They were judged and found wanting, paradise was taken away from them. This story has become part of many of us, deeply embedded in our subconscious sits the belief that we were not good enough for paradise and so we spend our lives in search of redemption and a return to paradise.
Inflow Outflow by Debbie Broadley
We don’t try to tame the sea, we don’t try to control it, we don’t grab onto a wave and insist it stays on the shore. We allow it to be as it is in all of its magnificence, its destruction and its gentleness.
We all have those times in our lives when we are riding the waves of joy, nothing seems to be able to go wrong. On a high, life is good we are invincible, BUT are we? Waves break, tides change, energy rises and subsides. Life has a rhythm that unconsciously we have no control over. We cannot anchor the waves to the shore forcing them to stay there a little longer to allow us an extended experience of pleasure.
When the tide turns suddenly and we find ourselves in drama, the first thing most of us do is blame everything else around us, we push against it, we resist. We berate the moment with why me, why now! We don’t understand this turn of events, life is not supposed to be like this, where did the high go?
It’s the law of nature that what we resist persists and what we push against pushes back, simple physics. Don’t hold on to the experience be it good or bad, don’t resist the bad or cling to the good. Absolutely everything is in constant motion, the only thing we can be sure of in life is change. Nothing is permanent, its believing that it is that causes us to suffer.
I had one of those weeks where the tide turned and I watched it flow out, patiently, calmly and powerfully. I handled what I could and the rest I accepted and let it be what it needed to be. Watching and flowing with it. I have found that life works so much better when we allow ourselves to move with what is happening as opposed to against it. Experiences tend to even out and we don’t get such great extremes. By remaining non-attached and allowing everything to be as it is we pass through the more challenging times a little smoother and a lot faster.
“Sometimes it’s time to express and ride the waves and sometimes it’s time to pull back, be quiet and reflect.” - DBH
Meditation, A Simple Guide by Debbie Broadley
Meditation, getting in touch with the mind and YOU.
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How Important Is Our Breath? by Debbie
Well of course its necessary for LIFE itself !
How Important Is Our Breath?
Well, of course, it’s necessary for LIFE itself!! BUT do we breathe just to exist or do we breathe in such a way that we are fully vibrantly and radiantly ALIVE!!
If we live in a negative emotional, mental, physical or spiritual state our breath may be very shallow, fast and on the surface, it may only reach our lungs. The result we will get is a half lived life full of tension, stress, anxiety and worry. We become almost robotic, on auto pilot, our energy becomes dull, we feel empty and unfulfilled.
Mostly we are so busy doing life and distracting ourselves to notice the cycle of our breath. The only time some people get to breathe deeply is when they visit the doctor and are told to breathe in and then out, and that feels uncomfortable and unusual, almost awkward
STOP for a moment and place your left hand on your chest and your right hand on your lower belly and breathe. Watch the cycle, on an in breath which hand rises and how far.
The energy in our body flows up the spine, through our heads and down our fronts.
That’s a given. We can however control the flow and vitality of this energy with conscious breathing.
NOTE the position of your tongue. The tip of the tongue should be gently touching the roof of your mouth just behind your front teeth. This allows the energy in the body to flow freely, it joins the circuit between the back upward flow and the front downward flow.
If you are finding that you are battling to focus, calm your mind, fidgeting or excessively chatting, getting frequent headaches or tension in the jaw, you will generally find that you may be holding your mouth open and your tongue is not closing the circuit.
In a full life enhancing breath we inhale beyond the chest and stomach area into the lower belly and right down to our pelvis. We can even visualise the breath moving all the way down to our toes.
The exhale, also as full as possible, flows up the back following the path of the energy through the body. And so the cycle continues. At first this may seem forced, but so be it, eventually it will become natural.
We cannot breathe deeply and remain closed to life. Deep breaths into the lower belly cause the belly to soften and open. Deep, complete breaths remove our armouring, life softens, light enters and love flows more freely into our body and our lives. Our cells change their vibration, they begin to emit higher frequencies of light. We become RADIANT!
Surrender yourself fully to be moved and breathed by love
Wake Up! by Debbie Broadley
There is this sense of urgency......
There is this sense of urgency to help heal the world, to fix it, all of it.
The planet, the animals and the people.
The atrocities man commits on man, the raping of the earth itself and the heart
wrenching abuse of the animals, in this world we all share in DISHARMONY.
Hearts become hardened to the violence and despair, fear is the predominant emotion.
Greed and violence have become the everyday norm, accepted.
Loving kindness and compassion standalone from the masses as slightly weird and unusual.
Some of us pick a cause – “Save the Rhino” “Save the Rain Forest”.
We pick up our banners and march to that tune. I think it was Mother Teresa who said
rather a Pro Peace campaign than an Anti-War. That which we push against pushes back,
it’s the law of physics.
As we begin to Awaken, drop the veils from our eyes and unguard our hearts, the
pain can be unbearable. When we first start to see and feel man’s inhumanity to EVERYTHING
more clearly the suffering is overwhelming, it can tear our hearts open if we let it.
Everywhere we look there are victims of abuse, greed, violence, anger, rage.
Where do we put all of this pain in seeing, surely one heart is not big enough to contain it all?
So what do we do? Turn away? Ignore it? Go back to sleep? Fix it? Campaign against it?
We can choose what we allow into our world by what we listen to, read or watch on TV
or social media. Filtering out the negative however does not mean it does not exist,
it just means you choose to place your focus on the positive instead.
There is a Universal law that says, what you look at expands, and we all know the
Law of Attraction, as you vibrate, so you attract. Think about where you place your
focus and what you are attracting.
And then there is the Law of Karma, cause and effect or in popular terminology,
you reap what you sow. What seeds are you planting in the greater scheme of things?
What is germinating in your world? Kindness or cruelty? Love or fear?
As we rush about on our crusade to heal the world we encounter an interesting phenomenon,
we cannot heal anyone or anything the ONLY being we have any control over is OURSELVES
and our choices. And so we STOP, we take a deep breath and we settle down to reflect.
We are the creators of our reality what we see and experience is all us, everything gets
filtered through our senses uniquely based on our programmes and conditionings.
How can we be more fully awake? What delusions do we need to clear from our minds?
What needs to heal in us? What choices can we make that honour all beings?
Life is kind it constantly shows us the unhealed in us giving us an opportunity to clean up and
shine up and finally show up.
The Awakening - Author Unknown by Debbie Broadley
A time comes in your life when you finally get it!
The Awakening - author unknown
A time comes in your life when you finally get it... When in the
midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and
somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH! Enough
fighting and crying or struggling to hold on.
And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs
begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears
and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world
through new eyes.
This is your awakening. You realize that it's time to stop hoping
and waiting for something to change or for happiness, safety and
security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms
with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not
Cinderella (nor are you Superman and she is Lois Lane) and that in the
real world there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for
that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin
with you and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not
everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you
are ... and that's OK. (They are entitled to their own views and
opinions.) You learn that people don't always say what they mean or
mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you
and that it's not always about you.
And you begin to sift through all the crap you've been fed about how
you should behave; how you should look and how much you should weigh;
what you should wear and where you should shop; and what you should
drive how and where you should live; and what you should do for a
living; who you should sleep with, who you should marry, and what you
should expect of a marriage; the importance of having and raising
children; or what you owe your parents.
You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there
is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop
maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next
You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the
outdated ideals of a by gone era but the mortar that holds together
the foundation upon which you must build a life. You learn that you
don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and that
you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt
and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and
learning to say NO.
You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry
and that martyrs get burned at the stake. Then you learn about love.
Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in
love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn not to
project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn
that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or
important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your
You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you
would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and
outcomes. You learn that just as people grow and change so it is with
love.... and you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on
your terms... just to make you happy.
And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely... And you look in
the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a
size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image
inside your head and agonizing over how you "stack up."
You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with
love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less.
And, you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you to glorify
you with his touch ... and in the process you internalize the meaning
of self-respect. And you learn that your body really is your temple.
And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin
eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more time to
You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt
and fear. So you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the
body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to
play. You learn, that for the most part, in life you get what you
believe you deserve... and that much of life truly is a
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and
that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward
making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve
success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also
learn that no one can do it all alone and that it's OK to risk asking
for help. You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it
living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't
always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that
sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people.
On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn
that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's
just life happening. And you learn to deal with evil in its most
primal state-the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger,
envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will
suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds
you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to building bridges
instead of walls.
You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple
things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the
earth can only dream about; a full refrigerator, clean running water,
a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take
responsibility for yourself by yourself and to make yourself a promise
to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your
And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to
the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting,
and to stay open to every wonderful possibility. Finally, with courage
in your heart and with God by your side you take a stand, you take a
deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best
as you can.
And, I am not sure, but I don't think he is the only one! We all know an Eeyore.
I have a dear dear friend who is very sick, he is weary of the constant struggle against life, he seems to be caught in a downward spiral and can't halt the momentum. His immediate family are not being as supportive as expected in this situation. Sigh*
Being in despair and frustration, he calls around gathering support for his situation from friends near and far. Telling his tale of woe and garnering pity, and the mud gets deeper. This does not take away from the fact that his situation is dire and from his perspective, waist deep, there does not seem to be a way to turn. His stories get witnessed and validated and nothing changes.
Whilst we live our lives expecting others to change or at least meet us halfway with change we will invariably be disappointed. Every suggestion I make is met with a BUT, yes but or no but. No change, a stalemate leaving ONLY him in misery.
How do we ultimately step out of the quagmire?
I have journeyed with wanting to FIX people,
rescue them, heal them, help them wake up.
Having tapped into inner peace I have had an overwhelming urge to share it,
the JOY and the connection to it. I have found myself going out into the world with a soft smile,
to speak of my understanding.
Many times I have heard it said, there is something about you, but mostly it remained
unidentified. It doesn't really have a label anyway, it's an energy, a state of being, we all have it.
And so, I would tell anyone who would listen to change their minds to change their experience
of life. I have heard many stories of victimhood and despair, of pain and fear and frustration.
Of not fairness, life shouldn't be the way it is. I have given many answers from my own levels
of understanding. Some of these answers evolving from, only love is real, to it is what it is and
never forgetting the law of karma.
Oftentimes being the victim of a story has become so embedded in a person's sense of self that
as I provided answers they provided the next level to the problem, always a but! It could be
quite amusing if it wasn't so sad.
What I do know for sure is that "trying" to heal the world one person at a time is a futile exercise.
It’s depleting and frustrating to say the least.
I also know for sure that the only person I can heal is ME! And that in itself is a daunting task
always always observing and adjusting.
The place I have arrived at is one of love and compassion balanced with wisdom.
That this is all that is required, to just SHOW UP in the world with an OPEN compassionate
HEART and be KIND.
Therapy Without Words by Debbie
Counsellors, psychologists, therapists and friends, for that matter, all want us to tell our story.
What happened, when it happened, how it happened, why it happened, that is if we know why, and where it happened. We make statements of what we perceive to be the facts through the filters of our conditioning.
The professionals will listen and make notes nod and provide a space for us to speak into, allowing feelings and events to be questioned in a safe supportive environment. Friends on the other hand want all the “goss” the get down and dirty bits and pieces, sometimes only to feed their own sense of and need for drama.
Our story gets told and retold over the years in an attempt to shift the trauma. This wound becomes our identity. “I was abused!” And so I become a victim of abuse, it becomes the badge I walk around with. It doesn’t matter that this event in question happened last month or 10 years ago it is so anchored in our identity that without it we would not know who we were.
If we look at our lives, right now, in this very moment, everything is perfect, there is nothing wrong and there is no abuse. It’s only when we begin to talk about it that the abuse is brought into this moment and our body shifts to accommodate the wound. Arms fold to protect the solar plexus, the seat and expression of our personal power in the world. This moment’s perfection has been overlaid with that moments tainting.
The moments of our lives are lost when we expand and anchor the stories of our pain. The stories feed the pain. It thrives on the energy of the words we use to describe it, this assumed identity.
None of this means that the pain is not real, that the event did not happen, that there was no abuse.
There was, IT IS REAL!
BUT, what if we stopped giving the pain body words to feed on. What if we looked beneath the words at the suppressed feelings directly. Yes, words are one of the keys to unlocking the feelings as they move the energy of the story stirring up the emotions. If these words can be spoken into a safe space there is great potential for healing. If there is no safe space or this hasn’t worked to this point, there is work that can be done without words.
Most forms of energy healing will facilitate this. The one I can speak to and am familiar with is Reiki, a gentle passive modality that can move the energy of trauma from the physical and energetic bodies over a few sessions in a calm peaceful supportive environment.
The other healing modality that comes to mind is Collage Therapy. A lot of people who have suffered great emotional pain say that they have nightmares which is our way of dealing with unfinished business sitting in the subconscious. Collage Therapy allows us to explore the subconscious with creative expression. The images on paper tell a story that hold the key to those long buried emotions.
There are so many forms of therapy available today and new ones popping up all the time. They are all valid, all have a place and purpose. Some will speak to one person and not to the next, we need to find the therapy and facilitator that resonates with us. Life has a way of nudging us to where we are meant to go and to whom is meant to help us.
A good number of us have tried affirmations to create a better life experience for ourselves.
Did we create the affirmed outcome? Or give up after a day or two?
I would say generally no, we didn’t create the intended outcome.
So, WHY NOT?
The gap between what is and what we want it to be is too large for the mind to comprehend, it balks at closing the gap....
So, NOW WHAT?
Now, we become a little more gentle with our mind, we give it a less direct statement to digest.
I AM IN THE PROCESS OF BECOMING HEALTHY, WEALTHY, WORTHY….!
This closes the gap and creates a link between what is and what we intend.
An Attitude of Gratitude
“Walk as if you are kissing the Earth with your feet.” - Thích Nhất Hạnh
I once did a workshop where the teacher asked the participants to take a 20 minute walk and with each step to be grateful for something. What an amazing opportunity to reflect on the obviously obvious and then the less and less obvious things in our everyday lives that bring us joy……our beloved, our family, friends, pets, homes, jobs, ………….the rain, the birds singing, the wind rustling……a tear, a smile, a sigh.
We have a choice in every moment as to how we are going to respond to what is, we can either respond from a place of love or a place of fear. Gratitude cultivates love and more experiences to be grateful for, life opens up. Fear cultivates more fear and a closing down of love and life.
We all know that what we resist persists – if we always do what we always did, we will always get what we always got! The more we say NO to the experiences we don’t want the more these will show up confirming that the world is an unsafe place.
The more we say YES to life the more expanded and beautiful life becomes. The bubbles of joy of gratitude rise from that inner place uncontained and spill over into the world as a light loving contagious energy.
All it takes is a conscious choice moment by moment, yes or no, love or fear.
Daily Gratitude Practice
The best practice to expand something is to bring your attention to it. Life gets so busy and some days there is not enough day in your time.
Keep a Gratitude Journal next to your bed, and every night as you climb in and the mind starts to quieten down, write down at least 5 things that you are grateful for that day.
“What you seek is seeking you.” - Rumi
A dear friend, some years back, posed the question: “who are you?” My mind, of course, spread out in all directions to gather up all of the labels and ideas I held around who I was at that point in time…..words tumbled and jumbled and scrolled through my mind’s eye but settled on blank. After a long pause,
I responded: “I don’t know!”
In the mind of an analytical, logical thinker, where everything fits in a well labelled box neatly packed away until required, “I don’t know”, didn’t sit well. And so began the deeper search into finding an answer to this question.
There had always been a pile of books next to my bed, as well as next to my favourite chair, on all matters esoteric, alternative, new age, spiritual, self-help, philosophy, energy, quantum physics, healing and such like. The pile grew in the quest for this elusive answer. If I could have I would have slept with a book under my pillow in the hopes of absorbing the delights, insights, realisations and wonders of these words.
After a sufficient number of these words had managed to lodge themselves in my intellect, I was once again posed the question: “who are you?” This time I had a well-defined answer, “I am a spiritual being having a human experience!” Really?? Well, it sounded good. I had hit on the right definition but it still remained a “head thing”, an intellectual connection to an idea about who I really was.
I put down all of the books for a while, too many books out there, too much info, too much seeking for that elusive intangible something outside of me. I stopped. I sat. I breathed. I meditated. And somewhere in that stillness the words and ideas and thoughts drifted down from my head and dropped into my heart. As knowledge turned to wisdom, a deep inner knowing. Now I knew who I was and I was once again posed the question: “who are you?”
There are words to answer this, many, but none I feel accurately describe this state of “beingness”. Words can point at it, like a finger pointing at the moon, but words are not enough, language too limiting.
My answer this time around was: “I know!”