“What you seek is seeking you.” - Rumi
A dear friend, some years back, posed the question: “who are you?” My mind, of course, spread out in all directions to gather up all of the labels and ideas I held around who I was at that point in time…..words tumbled and jumbled and scrolled through my mind’s eye but settled on blank. After a long pause,
I responded: “I don’t know!”
In the mind of an analytical, logical thinker, where everything fits in a well labelled box neatly packed away until required, “I don’t know”, didn’t sit well. And so began the deeper search into finding an answer to this question.
There had always been a pile of books next to my bed, as well as next to my favourite chair, on all matters esoteric, alternative, new age, spiritual, self-help, philosophy, energy, quantum physics, healing and such like. The pile grew in the quest for this elusive answer. If I could have I would have slept with a book under my pillow in the hopes of absorbing the delights, insights, realisations and wonders of these words.
After a sufficient number of these words had managed to lodge themselves in my intellect, I was once again posed the question: “who are you?” This time I had a well-defined answer, “I am a spiritual being having a human experience!” Really?? Well, it sounded good. I had hit on the right definition but it still remained a “head thing”, an intellectual connection to an idea about who I really was.
I put down all of the books for a while, too many books out there, too much info, too much seeking for that elusive intangible something outside of me. I stopped. I sat. I breathed. I meditated. And somewhere in that stillness the words and ideas and thoughts drifted down from my head and dropped into my heart. As knowledge turned to wisdom, a deep inner knowing. Now I knew who I was and I was once again posed the question: “who are you?”
There are words to answer this, many, but none I feel accurately describe this state of “beingness”. Words can point at it, like a finger pointing at the moon, but words are not enough, language too limiting.
My answer this time around was: “I know!”