ALONENESS by Debbie
Not to be confused with loneliness!
We keep ourselves busy busy, running, distracting, suppressing, addicting, to avoid being with ourselves.
Problem with that is that wherever you go, there you are !
We are in the end unavoidable, one day we will be forced to stop and face ourselves!
Life is kind like that.
The most important relationship we will ever have is the one we have with ourselves !
So get comfortable! In an attempt to fill the hole or avoid the loneliness we find a partner who kind of, sort of fits, in some places. And then, they don't make us happy, I mean, what's wrong with them, right? So, off we go to the relationship "conveyor belt" and switch them out for the next one, and then the next and on it goes. What do you know, we come to the end of the line even more unhappy than we were before we began.
What's going on? Why isn't it working? There must be something wrong with them !
Hmmmmmm, or just maybe something wrong with us!
We have tried our darnedest not to be lonely, every which way we can, only to end up alone.
Life has a way of whispering what we need ever so gently at first , then a little louder and finally if we are not paying attention, life SHOUTS!
Start spending time alone, even if it feels uncomfortable. Feel the feelings, push through the discomfort. Get to know YOU! It may be a first. Start "listening" to your body and it's need to move or rest or be taken care of and honour that "voice".
Start feeling your emotions, acknowledge them make them conscious, so that they don't have to keep prodding at you to get your attention.
Don't suppress them in your rush to get away from feeling those feelings.
Most importantly pay attention to your thoughts as everything stems from what you think.
You may notice your thinking has created a loop , or your thoughts have a particular pattern that can be labelled as good, bad, angry, loving, lustful, hurtful , and so on .....
Labeling them breaks the loop as we see them coming around again.
Finally you can relax, sigh, breathe out, and realise that you are the one you have been searching for, you are the Beloved and you are HOME.
"Oh lovers, where are you going? Who are you looking for? Your beloved is right here.” - Rumi