“I love you”, says Josh, “I have never met anyone who comes close to thinking the way you do”
“You are my GIFT, I have waited my whole life for you.”
“I love you!”
Don’t we all long to hear those words, to feel that special, that we are special.
To be validated, affirmed, appreciated, adored and loved!
We yearn to hear those words and surrender to love, to the Beloved.
What is this thing “I love you”, not the words I hear but the words being said?
What is their source?
“Josh, sweetest heart, you don’t know me. You only know your idea of me and that is an illusion you have created in your mind.”
That of course is not the standard response to a declaration of love.
I love you is supposed to create an echo and bounce straight back, and we both feel good
and think that the love we are experiencing has something to do with the other person.
“That’s true”, responds Josh, ”I only know what you want me to know?”
“No”, I reply, “you only know what you want to know, it has nothing to do with me.
I may tell you or show you something about me, but if it does not match your idea
of me you wouldn't see it. So it's not about what I want you to know,
it's about what fits into your framework of me.”
As we go about our lives we cross paths with many wonderful, beautiful, lovable people
and as we draw nearer to take a closer look, what we encounter is a mirror, a reflection of us.
The clearer the reflection the longer we want to stay and admire our beauty.
We gaze lovingly upon ourselves mesmerized by what is being reflected back at us,
all the while thinking that what we are seeing is the other person, not ourselves.
We become addicted to feeding off the feel good aspects.
There is attachment! We have hooked in, tendrils around the heart!
Should, this other, become weary of holding up the reflection of our beauty, and drop the mirror,
all hell breaks loose! Then comes accusation and blame and hurt as you are no longer doing
what I need you to do. I need to see that I am lovable, worthy, enough, more than and
I have been relying on you to show me this. How dare you take away the reflection!
Don’t you know I love you!
Whilst we enter into relationships dependent on the other person showing us our worth,
what we feel is NOT LOVE for them, but rather our LACK of SELF-LOVE.
We count on them to mask our lack. All kinds of games of manipulation are played to ensure
the reflection remains in place.
Ownership and control are imposed and love or rather our idea of it becomes personal,
the other is responsible for the love we either feel or don’t feel.
Love, TRUE love is NOT PERSONAL, it’s UNIVERSAL, it shines equally on everyone and its
source is YOU.
Once love becomes personal, it’s not love, it’s an entirely different thing altogether.
The beauty you see in me is a reflection of you - Rumi