" I have met the ONE, my soul mate, my twin flame,
THE BELOVED" says Kate as the words tumble out of her mouth all sparkly and tingly as though
she had just taken a hit of the latest recreational drug.
That DRUG as we all know is LOVE.
"Oh, he is absolutely gorgeous, he has these eyes ...and the way he looks at me, and his touch,
oh my word, his touch!" sings Kate and her eyes wander off into her imagination.
I watch and listen, and smile and nod a receptor for her bliss, an echo for her joyfulness.
I sit there grinning thinking, thank God she never said, "he completes me!”
best I not remind her, or she may.
We wax lyrical about this divinely perfect being we have met and have, of course, fallen in love with!
They fill our every wish and match all of our desires, for NOW.
So long as they are validating us and showing us our light, aaaaah the feeling. Life expands,
becomes brighter, happily encompassing everything it touches.
Our best masks are well in place.
We do all the things necessary to make it with them, adjust a little here, pretend a bit there,
and it works while the other is being who we want them to be or who we think they are.
And then one day, sooner or later, this object of our attention does something contrary
to our ideal perception of them. Bam !! Our attraction turns to aversion.
We start talking about them behind their backs to family and friends,
well to anyone who will listen to our story as we gather support in our rightness.
Our focus changes from seeing only the beauty to seeing all the ugly.
Our story has changed!
The interesting thing here, and the most important thing to note is,
the object of our attachment hasn't changed they are who they always were.
What has changed is our idea of them, our expectations as to how they should be in our version of reality.
Generally at this point the relationship breaks down.
We can list all of the reasons why and our justification for them, the exact opposite
of the list we went into this with.
Somehow they get the blame for not fitting our ideal picture of who they should be.
And we move on after a time, wounds licked and healed, to Mr/Ms Next.
How short our memories are of how this plays out again. Attachment turns to Aversion.
When we have seen the pattern we can break it....
Ultimately it comes down to making a choice to be happy.
"Love says, I want you to be happy
Attachment says, I want you to make me happy "