We Teach People How To Treat Us
Respect is Earned! Disrespect is Learned!
“He doesn’t respect me,” wails Amy, “I do so much for him and he let me down, again!
I don’t know what to do, he NEEDS to respect me!”
We TEACH people how to treat us, our partners, lovers, children, family, friends, staff, boss,
shop assistants, you get the idea.
Here's the BAD news (or GOOD news), they learn it from us!
DAMN hey! We ARE responsible for how other people treat us.
We feel it the most when it’s people close to us like family and partners as it tends to be in
our face all of the time. Children, spouse or lover.
Why does Amy feel disrespected? Amy needed Timmy, her son, to do something for her, but
Timmy decided to go out with his friends instead. I think a lot of us have experienced
this frustration from time to time
Respect is EARNED, even in the case of parents and children, respect is not a given,
it cannot be assumed. Children can pretend to respect their parents out of duty or fear
but it won’t be from an authentic place of honouring them.
Disrespect is LEARNED in three ways:
How We Treat Ourselves
Do we respect ourselves?
Do we have clearly defined boundaries?
Do we know how to nurture ourselves?
Do we make healthy choices?
Do we live from a place of integrity?
Do we have a sense of personal power?
How We Treat Others
Do we communicate our needs and wants clearly?
Do we give to get back?
Do we place conditions on love?
Do we respect others?
Do we impose consequences for bad behavior and stick to them?
How Others Are Witnessed Treating Us
Do other people treat us disrespectfully?
Do we accept disrespectful treatment from others?
All of these factors, and I am sure there are many more, form the basis of how people treat us,
with respect or disrespect, and all of them lead back to us. They have just been good
students they have studied us well. When we know and accept responsibility for our
outcomes we are able to begin to make the changes that honour us. Self-respect turns the key.