Who Hurt Who ? by Debbie
“He/she hurt me!” we cry in our well established pattern, gathering in as many allies as will listen and agree to his bastard/bitch status! We make ourselves right in the telling, only delivering the half truths that support our version of the story.
As the old saying goes there are 3 sides to every story, mine, yours and what’s true. I would like to add to that, there are actually as many stories as there are witnesses to the seeing and telling. The witness can only “see” through their filter and so we have new versions with each retelling.
How did he/she hurt us? The question of course does not apply to physical hurt but rather mental and emotional pain. Is someone else responsible for our pain? Have we ever stopped to look at this or is it easier to blame? Why would we inflict pain on ourselves? Dumb hey, of course we wouldn’t, BUT WE DO !!
We set ourselves up perfectly for the hurt. HOW?
We create expectations in our minds, we tell ourselves stories, our very own version of reality. And when what happens does not match what we think should happen – OUCH!
And, then, instead of looking at what is, we feel the pain and turn outwards to blame the person who appears to have inflicted it!
Should we care to STOP, look and reflect we may just notice that there is no blame, that we created the outcome with our expectations. That the wound is SELF INFLICTED !
THAT I HURT ME!!!
Accepting responsibility for our story and seeing it as just a story frees us from being the victim. NO one has the power to hurt us but US!