You Complete Me by Debbie Broadley
"I have met my other half, she fits me........"
You Complete Me
"I have met my other half, she fits me perfectly, she completes me," says Paul
"I am so happy and so in love, it's a dream come true," he continues.
Oh boy, I think as I muster up a forced smile. "Now you won't be lonely anymore", I tell him,
kicking myself under the table.
I have learnt through experience not to intercept people’s life lessons especially
when there is something very important to be learnt.
I have also found that when someone is experiencing a high they are much less likely to listen
to your damper, or rather your reality check.
An interesting observation is that people are more likely to listen to advice when they are
unhappy, so that would be prior or post relationship when they are either lonely or broken.
How often have you heard it said at a gathering with friends, better half or worse half,
referring to your mate, dependent on the current state of your relationship. It’s always meant
in jest, BUT what does it actually mean?
Well simply put, it means that without a partner we are incomplete, that's the common
garden variety point of view. That statement immediately sets us up for failure.
It tells us that society sees us as less than if we don't make at least some sort of
attempt to fill our missing pieces. The idea that someone should complete us is
central to the FAILURE of all relationships.
Conventional expectation would have boy meet girl or girl meet boy and then everyone
stays in their comfort zone, no sensibilities offended. Everything looks fairly normal
and so the community at large breathes a sigh of relief. Another piece of the puzzle
in place, so what if it was forced, it looks ok.
The old age love stories have happily ever after, the new age ones see two becoming one.
These stories are what have conditioned our BELIEFS throughout the ages.
At the point of, or even way before our first breath these days, we are slapped with our
first label, BOY or GIRL, and with that comes a whole lot of criteria pertaining to
pink or blue. A girl’s feminine aspect is nurtured and nourished and a boy’s masculine.
(I am generalising for the sake of the point).
The ERROR in all of this is that each and every one of us has both masculine and feminine
aspects, we are both, we ourselves are the 2 halves of our own WHOLE. If we have not
integrated both the yin and yang within ourselves, then it’s these aspects we are
attempting to bring into balance when we go out in search of a mate. While we look
for someone to complete us we end up meeting halves,
broken people just like us that need fixing.
At the extreme end a very feminine woman will seek out a very masculine man
to balance her feminine energy. A more masculine woman will look for a more
feminine man, and so on, it’s all about BALANCE.
Sounds as though this should work, doesn't it? Hmmmm, well, it does, up to a point.
The problem arises with the fact that whomever we are, we are only interested in our mate’s
ability to provide us with the half we haven't integrated. HEAVEN forbid they should show
us the parts of themselves we have already sorted. We have zero interest in that,
we never fell "in love" with that, "who the hell are you and what did you do with Sue?",
this is not what I signed up for!
Now that we know how we get it wrong, how then do we get it right?
This enigma called relationship!
We make OURSELVES our PRIMARY relationship. Fall "in love" with you, all of YOU.
The masculine and the feminine, the shadow and the light, the scars and the beauty,
ALL of it, perfections and imperfections.
YOU are the ONE in all of your complete magnificence. If you don't love yourself how
do you ever expect anyone else to love you? Get this relationship right and you
will never need to go in search of "love" again.
Self-love creates self-confidence, self-assurance, self-acceptance and all those other
empowering self-words. Your energy literally becomes magnetic,
there will be no need to look for love as LOVE WILL COME LOOKING FOR YOU.